We Cease Loving Ourselves if No One Loves Us
by Kaita Kitsune
Summary: The Princess has lost hope in everything in the Infinity World. She believes shes a bother, worthless and has nothing to offer while Fai tries to change that. Sakura continues to think shes the reason everything has gone wrong.


"_We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.__"_

The princess went to her room, closed the door and lay on her bed, her face hidden in the pillows, tears pouring out of her emerald eyes. She heard the door open and close quietly, she needn't look up for she knew who was standing in her room. The blonde magician with one blue eye and an eye patch on the other eye walked over to the princess' side and sat down on the bed.

It was raining out and the sound of the falling drops was the only noise except for the muffled cries of the princess. The room was dark except for the occasional lightning illuminating the room for a brief moment.

"Sakura-chan, what's wrong?" the blonde finally asked. Sakura sat up wiping away the tears and forcing herself to stop the crying. She looked at him with an emotionless face after she had gathered herself and said nothing. She was wearing a black dress that went down to her knees with a white petticoat under it. The dress had long bell like sleeves and she had a collar on with a gold embroidered crown on one of the sides. Her emerald green eyes showed every bit of emotion she was trying to hide.

"Fai, I'm fine, there is no need for you to be here," she said trying to get him out of the room. He shook his head and didn't move from the spot he was sitting in.

"Princess, you say you're fine, but I know you are far from fine, you've talked to me many times, why now all of a sudden you wish me gone?" Sakura stared at him and then at the window where she saw the sky seemed to feel an endless amount of sorrow just as she had been feeling. Sakura's feeling of sorrow was derived from the fact that she had convinced herself that she was alone and no one cared about her existence anymore. She found that she shouldn't burden people with her problems anymore, the trouble of finding her feathers, the pain she supposedly caused those close to her.

Sakura watched the small droplets of water hit her window, similar to all the tears that had fallen onto her pillow at night. Fai would come in and talk with her and help her feel better about herself, but she thought that it was just a burden to him, so she wished him to leave and not worry about her miserable existence as she called it. She hated to bother him, for she was afraid of losing him like she had lost Syaoran, or at least, the Syaoran she woke up to. Although she figured all of them could care less about her existence anymore.

"Fai…just leave…you don't need to stay with the likes of me…I'm not worth your time or friendship, you've done so much for me, yet I've been such a bother to you, crying to you, taking up your time, just leave…" Sakura finally said trying to fight back her tears. Fai was surprised by what the princess had just told him. Where had she gotten the ideas of her being a bother? The Sakura he first met with the others was a cheerful and bright young girl, even though so much had happened, this was not the princess he had met at the beginning. Sakura waited for Fai to get up and leave, but he didn't.

"Princess, you're no bother to me, I do this because I want to, not because I have to," Fai said to her. She got up and walked over to the window and shook her head.

"You're saying that so I don't feel worse about myself! You know you are! Why do you care so much?" Sakura exclaimed and slid down to the floor crying. Fai watched the sight almost like it was just a dream and this wasn't happening because the princess would never act in such a way. He got up and walked over to her and kneeled down next to her and pulled the crying girl into an embrace and she cried onto him and he whispered to her.

"Princess, you're no bother to any of us, none of this is your fault and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, including yourself. We all care about you and are worried about you, me, Mokona, Kurogane, and…" Fai stopped himself at Syaoran for he knew the situation with Syaoran and Sakura was a delicate one. Sakura pulled away from Fai and leaned against the wall and tucked her knees to her chest and cried more. Fai knew that his words where heard, but he didn't understand why Sakura refused to believe him.

He stared at her and watched her cry. Sakura was like a little sister to him, and seeing her cry almost every night unable to help her made him feel terrible. He was unable to even understand why she would even begin to think she was all the things that she had said about herself. After leaving Tokyo and entering the Infinity World, Sakura had become much more serious about everything and hardly smiled anymore. Everyone missed her warm friendly smile and her perky emerald eyes, and these features were replaced with an emotionless if not crying appearance with eyes that hid everything she felt. Fai thought back to all of the other times the group had spent together and Sakura was just a ball of energy and now she was far from it. Even though he was far from what he was when they started their journey, he still tried to pull off who he was.

"Why…why does it hurt to lose someone? Why am I'm terrified to lose more? Why can't I of all the people here just disappear?" Sakura muttered. Fai looked at her as she stared at the ground. She curled her fingers in the skirt of her dress and continued to stare at the floor without moving her gaze for even a moment.

"Losing someone hurts for everyone not just you, you don't want to lose more people because it hurts, and not to mention if you were gone we would all be upset, you're special to us Sakura, even if you believe no one cares or that you're a bother, you've changed us all," Sakura looked around the room and got up. Fai got up as well and Sakura looked at him emotionless.

"Just go, you said what you needed to say, now go," Fai refused to leave. Sakura would just go back to crying on her bed. Sakura crossed her arms over her chest and Fai looked at her, this was not right at all. He glanced at her arm and even in the darkness he could see faint scars from something. He walked over to her and grabbed her arm. She pulled away and glared at him.

"Get out, now," she demanded. Fai sighed and nodded, he finally would leave the angry princess alone. He left the room and closed the door.

"I'm sorry Fai…I really am," Sakura walked over to her bed and sat down and looked at her wrist. She was ashamed she had gone that far when it did nothing but caused more pain. She lay down on her bed and began to cry and muttered faint words.

"We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us…"

--

I'll continue if people want...it was intended to be a one shot but whatever...

-Amaya


End file.
